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Some things I cannot change, but until I try, I'll never know...
j&d
kirsalessi
Hmmm....

So...it's been awhile. Yeah, I'd apologize, but it's not like I've been absent, life's just been blah this semester, and I really haven't had any time to talk about myself. However, Abby and Dani are forcing me to take the night off, so...here I am.

My writing's been really weird lately. For example, I planned on having Sunburn finished by now, AIS pretty much done, and my next story planned out to be posted once AIS was close to finished, however, this semester's been a bitch. I haven't had a week without a test, like, ever, and between work, friends and stuff my writing greatly slowed down. Until last week, that is.

I need to say something, but I want to be perfectly clear as to why I'm saying it before I do. I don't want pity, I don't want people telling me they understand, or bullshitting me. I'm not that kind of person. I'm just saying it because I need to say it. Like, I don't think my brain has processed it yet, and I guess part of me thinks that by posting it for other people to potentially read will sort of force me to cope. My dad has Parkinson's disease.

Hmmm...no, still not feeling it. Honestly, I wonder if something's wrong with me. He's been having tremors in his hand for a while and we've been silently preparing ourselves for the worst when he went to the neurologist, there was part of me that simply hoped it was a pinched nerve or something. But it's not a brain tumor. It's not cancer. Parkinson's will not kill him, but still...I should be scared and upset, but when I went home over Thanksgiving, he was making jokes about it, and...I don't know. Should I be scared?

I should go into lurking mode. I thought about it pretty seriously after I found out, and any sane person would take a step back and refocus, but for some reason, I can't. In fact (relating this to my writing), since I found out, my muse has been in full gear coming up with idea after idea. It's weird, and all I can come up with is that my brain thinks immersing myself in my writing is easier for me and helps me cope.

Oh, and it flurried today. I cannot wait for snow. :)

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I don't pity you. Your situation is unique to you as an individual. Just know that if you ever need to talk, you're free to shoot a PM over. Your family is in my prayers.

As for your muse, I feel like tough situations can either drive your writing or suppress it. It's good that you can get your emotions out on "paper", it's a way to communicate with yourself.

Sometimes lurking is good for you, other times its not. You have a lot of support and a lot of people who have your back, whether you take a break or not.

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